My fear of airplanes

I have a very powerful gut feeling that airplanes will be the death of me. Just when I see or even hear an airplane passing through I run away crying for mommy. And it is ridiculous and such a struggle because on the other hand I love travelling to new places.My ultimate dream is to travel the whole world some day, but the way I see it, that is what it only is, just a dream.

I know some people might say "It's just an 1 hour flight you will get over it" or "Airplanes are way safer than cars or any other type of transportation".Trust me I know everything I need to know about airplanes but still I am 100% terrified.

I have been to a lot of plane rides as a kid,and I was kinda scared back then.However, as I grew older my fear grew with me.

I remember the last time I was on a plane, we were flying from Croatia to Macedonia and the flight was approximately 45 minutes long. Longest 45 minutes of my entire life.

My fear started minimum 10 days prior the flight.I mentally had to prepare myself that in 10 days,this exact time, I will be on a plane.This thought horrified me so I tried to not think about it that much.I had little to no success.As the day came closer I became more and more scared and there was no turning back. I could've just said something to my mom,but noooo I had to get on that stupid plane like something was forcing me.Anyway,the day came. The day of my last day on earth.

We arrived at the airport and ugh that airport smell and vibe is just awful.I quite remember that while we were waiting to get on the plane I was mentally saying goodbye to all the people I know and love.Why didn't I personally say goodbye? Because deep down I knew I was crazy and if I survived(I did survive) that flight then I would look stupid,so I gave all the goodbye's on my head.

I took some pills for relaxation and they didn't help at all of course,and I got inside the plane with my right foot.And normally I am not a religious person,I would actually call myself as an agnostic.But as soon as my foot landed on that plane, I prayed to God like I never had before.Every second in 45 minutes I spent on prayers. And crying,yeah that also.

When that miracle plane started to land I was on my last prayers,and when those wheels actually touched the ground and the plane stopped I cried even more. Oh the relief. Tears of pure happiness.

That was the moment I absolutely loved my life.